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There is need to have guidelines to follow because some men are negligent of their children due to lack of information. There is also need for coordination among different institutions to raise awareness so that each level that has men in their mandates sensitize them to help give them information and those the make offenses can be corrected. When a child is brought up by one parent, it grows like an orphan.
Patrick Mico, RWAMREC Project Manager and Public Relations Officer, says that the a child is seed that the parents saw in a family. “When children grow in a family where parents fight, they are also grow with it. The boy feels that beating a woman is not a problem and the girl tends to accept being beaten because she feels its not a problem.It is possible that we can change such beliefs in Rwanda, the man accepts to be an adviser, complemented by those in his home to make decisions. Time has come that people change the belief.”
He notes that when a father likes his children, they grow with love that is not fond, and that there is need to incept a program to train couples that want to wed for some good, not short time, they learn who to fend for the families and to up-bring their children.
“The relationship between a man and woman is the foundation for development of their family and up-bring of their children. It is a yield from the politics put in place to develop a family. It correct for people to follow and know what they reap from the politics that are in place and where there is less effort more is added.”
Mico Patrick, RWAMREC Project Manager and Public Relations Officer (Photo/Viateur)
Mico continues to say that they meet with levels of leadership that are obliged to cater for the development of poor families so that they elaborate how work that develops them is possible by fulfilling the equality between women and men.
“For the programs to have results there should be a follow up of how both are taught how to manage what they achieve. If it doesn’t go like that, a man amasses all achievements to himself or when a woman has a say, conflicts become rife in the family. There is need for change people don’t be tied by tradition and they know that whatever the family achieves, the man and woman have a role in it.”
Yvonne Umuhoza , ,staff of a Non-Government Organization,Humanity and Inclusion, that fights Gender Based Violence among children and People Living with Disability in Rutsiro and Gasabo districts says that the problems within a family depends on tradition and how the children are brought up.
“The whole problem relates to tradition because men have been brought up to be kings and the women remain under them. Such problems have consequenses on the family because when the man becomes the chief of all achievements in the homes, he can mismanage the home and impoverish them. The children also tend to grow with the same traditional beliefs, and the girls becomes meaningless.”
She says that there is need for a campaign to raise awareness starting within the family, parents are taught to avoid conflicts in the family and the children also grow with the same comprehension to have stable families.
“When there are conflicts you find the children are brought up as orphans, they don’t get affection of both parents or either parents tends to cater for the child they like.”
Emmanuel Munyampeta, staff with Nation Early Childhood Development Program ( NECDP), says that the loophole within the family is because the men leave all the child upbringing for the women.
“A child that is not well looked after by both parents, have problems in their growth, mindset and in fact all their life. Research shows that a child that grow up with both parents especially the father, they grow in mind very fast and grows into a happy person.A child that is always happy usually has love and also gives it out.The role of both parents is needed on child growth and not leaving it to the woman alone.”
Theogene Mbarushimana,Civil Society Organization Forum staff, says that the gap is on both sides when there is need for women and their husbands to bridge it because all have obligations to achieve.
“If men can cook in hotels why do they fail to do the same at home? They are able and if saying that they can do that in hotels, it means they can as well do the same at home. A woman also can be a totem to a family due to how she was brought up, meaning that when her husband goes into the kitchen, she feels ashamed. Both need to be taught.”
He notes that both need awareness about their relationship because there are men and women who are behind, the men are urged to be the first to change their mind and accept that they are have ideals that hinder the family’s development.
And the woman also be convinced that the role of a man has some changes it brings to the development of the family. “They all need to receive changes but most especially the man.”